Saturday, September 15, 2012

my new york story for fakrul

sometimes i wonder what people do in the groups that i leave. do they all get together and go, oh my god, we are all so dumb and boring? i mean, you know, it should happen like that. like, didn't you ever wonder after getting dumped how your ex could possibly continue on with their life without you? how is it even possible?

my life has been a continual chain of idiotic events. sometimes i look back and try to understand what was the point of all those dumb things i have done in my life because i can't find much else to look back to except some good times with friends and family just partying around and having some good times here and there, but that's it. but somehow i feel okay with it all. for instance, the blogs i visit often would once in a while rejoice a million hits or ten, whereas i am at zero to three hits per day, and even with that sometimes i wonder who are the people finding my blog, and why.

so i have been wanting to tell a story in new york that happened quite a few years back that i told my friend fakrul about. he's been telling me to write about these things instead of what i have been writing, but again, i can't explain this defiance, i just do whatever, and often it's just silly and pointless, and i can't make a buck off of it or anything like that, still, so what, you know? i feel free, and that makes me feel good in my own way. i am not different because i am working hard to be different. this is just how i am and if my friends don't get it, well, i will make better friends in some other life in the future or in some other dimension where there's not so much judgment crippling people's being, or being honest, or being just themselves.

it was after my long time girlfriend had left me, and along with her all of my friends were gone too because they were essentially her friends who never really liked the way i was. so i was terribly lonely and i had this one korean friend whom i called wing, he'd come over at times and we'd hang out at bars.

one time wing invited me to his friend's party and i went. the friend was a nice girl whose name i can't recall anymore and she had this nice apartment up on the fifth floor of an apartment complex. we went there together and started mingling. i remember getting pretty drunk and losing sight of wing after some time. my memory of this whole scene seems like a dream now as i remember it and somehow fakrul liked the story when i told him and apparently remembered it enough to remind me to write about it.

i remember chatting up with the host girl, sorry that i can't remember her name, i wish i did, because i liked her a lot, and maybe even thought about hitting on her in my mind but but i was aware that i had just met all those people and i shouldn't do anything rash even though i was pretty raving drunk because i was still hurting terribly from the breakup.

at one point, the girl suddenly said she lost her engagement ring, and started looking for it around the room. soon a whole bunch of people started looking for it at which point i grabbed another drink and sat on a couch when i found the ring. but for some reason, instead of immediately giving it to her, i thought i would have some fun with it and so i let them look some more. 

after a while, i gave her the ring, laughed about what i did, got disappointed when i saw her getting upset, and bid goodbye to the party. 

i took the elevator down and i think i started talking to someone who was from the party taking a smoke downstairs by a tree that was mounted with a cement bench like circular paving. as i am talking to this guy, suddenly, at the corner of my eye i see something coming towards me at top speed from the right. this happened before i could think, i waited till the last moment and then i suddenly moved backwards to dodge the person who would have hit me full force if i hadn't. 

the guy hits the bench area hard with his knees and fell. it was the brother of the girl who lost the ring. he was mad because i made them search the place unnecessarily by hiding the ring. i think he then got up and i was sure he was hurt. he pushed me down to the ground and maybe even sat on me. he yelled at me but didn't hit me. at this point others came and separated us. i caught a cab and called wing but he said he was going to go separate so i just left. 

i remember when we were in school, i had a silly fight with fakrul too when he sat on my chest too and my glasses broke.

 so now you know what i mean. fakrul and i are good friends now, except i said some funny things about the video that he did recently on a couple of disabled kids that i shared on my blog here. i don't know why i said what i said. words come out like that i don't seem to have any control over them. sometimes i regret afterwards, sometimes i don't. and the process continues on.

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