Friday, August 24, 2012

love of a sinner

by Neel Akash on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 6:44am ·
 
so there i was, over here, shabby and lacking grace etc
there was that invisible trail of
shame, stupidity and just idiotic stuff, embarrassing love affairs
but i am glad that it never finished among
all that wondrous people who wouldn't pick and choose
and just love you as if you really deserved it, oh

i am toxicated and lightened in error
and to see the love, the abstract one
instead of the sexual and that
cheapness about me, the shallowness
and in the meantime, that pretension of
divinity and the cheesy stuff
gawd
i tried hard but
i don't know who i am because
if i were god, then why do i still
you know?

i am drowning in love because you
are over there and
i am just so guilty and hypocritical although
it's not what i wanted
i could just

just kiss and kiss and melt away like that
like that long time ago
those young bodies entwined
yes
i wish it would happen again
to me and my mother too
and i want her
to reverse her age and
die on the same day as i

i wanted to stop there
but the flow of you
too many words
too many colors
too many nights

yes i know you know
how i feel
and i know it is all all right
but still these words
these words of love
this hypocrisy
this promiscuity i suffer

against my will
the erroneous blunders
everything i ever done
everything i will ever do
the uncertainty of your presence

yet the blueness
the voice
the wrongs and unforgettables
the memory and smile
this insatiated craving
let it not end

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